Come Here Often?

I thought I would compile a list of the 10 best WORST pick-lines ever used on me. But before I get started, I have to tell you about the one pick up line that earned me a nickname I still proudly wear to this day like a badge of honor. Here goes:

Back when I was in college, I had a friend with a daddy complex. She only dated older men. Men old enough to be her daddy. Actually, I should butt in right here and say that I use the term "date" loosely. Okay, so she's screwing this stock broker who was probably in his early 40's. (We were 19). He was decent looking, but what the hell is wrong with a 40 year old man that he is with a 19 year old? Anyway, she says she wants to meet up with him in the the Flats (a has-been cool place to go in downtown Cleveland). Apparently, he has a younger brother that would like to meet me.

Begrudgingly, I agree to go. We are outside of a bar waiting for them to show up. We cannot go in because we are not 21 (legal drinking age). I'm getting really pissed because they have kept us waiting for over an hour. Finally, they show up. Old baldy and his greazy, swarthy, "younger" brother. Immediately my friend runs over to the old guy and starts making out with and dry-humping him right there on the sidewalk.

I'm left to stand there with the other one. He looks right at me and says, "You must be mine." Being the young, innocent, and naive college student that I was, I told him to go phuck himself. To which he replies, "Oh, you're Sassy. I like that in a woman." At this point, I hailed a cab and went home. But, to this day, all of my friends from college still call me "Sassy."

Now, on to the top 10 list. Here are the best WORST pick-up lines that have ever been used on yours truly:

10. Your Daddy must have been a theif because he stole the stars from the heavens and put them in your eyes.

9. (Pulling at the tag on the back of my shirt) Just as I thought. It says, "made in heaven."

8. Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

7. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

6. So, do you come here a lot?

5. Let's phuck.

4. My mama always told me when I met the girl of my dreams I'd turn to stone. Just looking at you, I'm getting hard.

3. How about I take you home and buy you a prune danish for breakfast?

2. You're pretty (...pause for me to say thank you). Now you're supposed to tell me I'm pretty too!

And the number one best WORST pick-up line:

I would like to make you spaghetti, listen to some Neil Diamond, and meet your father!

So, that's my top ten list. Please feel free to add to this list. I would love to hear some that have been used on you, or that you used.

DISCLAIMER: Do not use these pick-up lines. Most of them are tired. The top 3 are at least original, but mostly they all suck. Only one of these actually worked. Out of sheer embarrassement, I refuse to say which one it was....