Pete and Repeat

Here is my conversation at Dunkin' Donuts this morning. DAMN THEIR COFFEE --- IT'S ADDICTIVE!

DD: Welcome to Dunkin' Donuts. Can I take your order?
LoLo: I'd like the number three with an XL decaf with just cream and a plain bagel with plain cream cheese. That's all.
DD: I'm sorry, which number would you like?
LL: 3 (the only one with the bagel, dumbass)
DD: And what size coffee would you like?
LL: ???? An XL decaf, please (dumbass)
DD: Oh, you want decaf?
LL: Yes (dumbass)
DD: Cream and sugar?
LL: JUST CREAM, please (you effing dumbass)
DD: What kind of bagel would you like?
LL: !!! JUST PLAIN (you son of a whore effing dumbass)
DD: Do you want cream cheese?
LL: (IS THIS AN EFFING JOKE??!!!) Just plain cream cheese (you mother-effing son of a whore piece of shit dumbass).
DD: Anything else?
LL: (ARE YOU KIDDING?) No, as stated before, that's all I want
DD: WHAT?
LL: NO, THAT IS ALL (die, dumbass!! Die!!!
DD: Please pull around for your total.

PULL AROUND FOR MY TOTAL?!?! IN THE 20 MINUTES YOU SPENT TAKING MY ORDER, YOU COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH IT COSTS? IT SAYS RIGHT ON THE EFFING MENU BOARD HOW MUCH EACH "VALUE" MEAL IS, BASED ON WHAT SIZED COFFEE YOU GET. WHAT IN THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH THESE PEOPLE? AND WHO THE EFF HIRED THEM?? AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT GUY?!?! I SWEAR, THEY MUST ALL GET IN AT 5AM AND TOKE UP. I HALF EXPECTED TO HEAR AN, "AND DEEEEEEENNNNNNNN???" OR A "DUDE, WHAT'S MINE SAY?" SHIT!!! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

Okay, now this all happened before 6am. I really do not need to be starting my days this way. Of course, I leave there and end up getting behind Slam-On-The-Brakes-As-I-Get-To-The-Bottom-Of-The-Freeway-Entrance-Ramp Guy. I HATE THAT GUY! I'd really like to ram my effing car right into the back of his "W in 04" bumper-sticker riddled car. But I don't because I'm too busy trying not to get hit by the on-coming traffic that is going 70mph while I'm trying to get up to 20mph.....

And, as if this isn't enough, on top of everything else, is there any radio station in Cleveland that actually plays music in the morning? Is that too hard to ask?? And how about playing a DECENT song? It doesn't even have to be great. Just okay. How about someone just playing a crappy song? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!! Is playing that funky music too hard to ask, white boy??? Jimmeny Christmas!

Great, now I'm PISSED. Thanks a lot Dunkin' Donuts. YOU RUINED MY LIFE!