BP Boycott

This morning on my way into work, I realized that I had about 1/116th of a tank of gas left. I was going to stop at the local Mom-n-Pop station to get gas, but apparently they don't open at 6am (BAD IDEA!). This means I was forced to go to the BP. No way I could make it onto the freeway and to another exit to get gas. I was driving on fumes.

Those of you who know me know that I HATE BP. Those of you who don't know me, let me tell you why: Last summer, I was at the BP station by my house. I was putting my credit card in the little reader in the pump. It would say, "One moment" and after more than one moment, it would say, "No card read," whatever that means. So I tried putting the card in a different way - upside down, backwards, sideways, etc. Even tried another credit card or two. But kept getting the "one moment" and then the denial.

Keep in mind, there are no signs up anywhere stating that the machines are down, and no voice over the loud speaker telling me that my efforts were in vain.

So, I decided I had to go into the little BP mart and pay inside. I walk in, and there are about 50 people in line. It's hot as balls in there, and the a/c is off. The doors were open, and there was a colony of bees flying around inside (Mel, you will be happy to know I am TERRIFIED of bees). Now, I've waiting in line for a while, and I didn't want to leave... on principle.

Up at the front of the line, there are 3 people working... on one cash register. Do you think they could open up a second and/or third register? Oh noooooooo! So, I finally get up to the register, and I said I wanted to get a fill-up on pump number whatever and hand him my credit card. The pimple-faced kid working there says, "Um, our credit card machines are down. You can go fill up and then come back in and pay cash when you are done." Now I'm steaming. So I said, "you mean to tell me I have to come back in here and stand in this line again? And there are no signs up saying your credit card machines are down?" And he goes, "Yeah."

Yeah?? Yeah?!!! I was so pissed off! So I looked this kid right in the face and I screamed, "PHUCK THAT!!!" And I stomped out of there. I then proceeded to burn rubber on my way out of the parking lot. Very mature, I know.

After that, I was really pissed off at BP and totally embarrassed by my actions. I vowed to never go there again. Until today.... when I had no other choice.

So I pull into BP and remembered the OTHER reason why I hate that effing place - they have the slowest pumps known to man. I am not kidding you. It took me FOURTEEN MINUTES to fill my tank. And it's only a Nissan Altima. Not that big of a tank. I put in $23.32 worth of gas. (I believe it was about 4 gallons).

The calculating ticker went a little something like this:
.01...............................................................................
.02...............................................................................
.03...............................................................................
You get the idea. I could have gone to the Middle East, gotten gas there, and come back in the time it took to fill my tank this morning at BP.

So, once again I am boycotting BP. And this time FOREVER. On my way into work (where I arrived late - thanks BP effers!!), I came up with several ideas as to what BP stands for. Here are some of them:

Broken Promises
Bumbling Putzes
Barf Pirates
Booby Prize
Butt Phuckers
Bitch Phuckers
Bastard Phuckers

Please feel free to add to my list. I would love to get some of your insights!! And I would really enjoy hearing from fellow haters.

Happy Friday the 13th. Lo Lo... OUT