Banana Hammock Pants

I'm driving home last night and I pass a local grade school. Out on the front lawn are some little boys playing soccer. I would have guessed they were maybe first or second grade. Very cute.

As I pass the school, I notice this older man lurking by the bushes. He had a bicycle, was wearing one of those funny looking helmets, and was sporting the banana hammock pants. I felt sick to my stomach when I saw him, because he looked suspiciously like a pedophile. Why was he over in the bushes? Why did he have this weird little smirk on his face? And why was his bike being held upright by his penis?!

He looked a little something like this guy:

http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/

THAT IS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!