This morning as I was driving into work, I was listening to a copy of a CD that had really bad sound quality. So I kept turning up the volume. It maxed out at 38. WHY 38? Why not just round up to 40? I don't understand. It reminds me of that scene from "This is Spinal Tap." You know, the whole, "Yes but this one goes to 11."
Anyway, it was really bothering me that the volume level wasn't a nice, rounded off number. And it made me think about an episode of "Monk" that I just watched. This guy was doing sit-ups and stopped at 99. Monk talked the guy into rounding up to 100, because you can't just stop at 99. The guy ended up doing 101, and Monk went nuts: Oh my God. Now you have to do another 99!!
Most people probably laughed at his "reasoning." I, on the other hand, completely understood it.
So I decided to go to the USA website and take the "Are You Monk-ish" Quiz. I thought that there was no way I would be exactly like him. I mean, I don't wash my lightbulbs or put my doorknobs in the dishwasher. But I do consider myself a neat freak and a bit of a germaphobe (this last trait has only gotten worse since my son was born and we have to keep him from getting sick).
Anywho, I took the quiz and my results were as follows:
"Lo Lo, you are more Monk-ish than most. Wow! You're definitely more concerned with cleanliness and routine than the average person. This keeps you well organized, but your friends are probably making jokes behind your back. Take a deep breath, leave the hand sanitizer at home, go totally nuts, and actually step on the cracks of the sidewalk once in a while."
Whoa Whoa Whoa. Leave the sanitizer at home? First of all, I have sanitizer in every room in my house, in my purse, in my car, at my desk at work, etc, etc, etc. I never leave home without it! And, as for stepping on the cracks??!! No freaking way, Man! No way!
I like to be clean and organized. I like my house and my person to be neat. What's wrong with that? I'd rather be known as the Clean One than the Dirty Hot Mess! I don't think that's weird. And so what if I'm constantly straightening out picture frames and candles and knickknacks?? I like things orderly. I don't think that's weird. In fact, I think it's normal. And if you're sloppy, messy, dirty, unorganized, and then I think that you're NOT normal. That's right. I said YOU'RE NOT NORMAL! Hey, it's okay to be Monkish. In fact, it's fun. You should try it. Come on. You know you want to! It feels sooooo good!!!
DO IT
DO IT
DO IT
Oh, and one last thing. To all of you laughing behind my back: I'll be the one having the last laugh when I'm 115 years old and disease free. So there!
