How Do You Walk With Balls So Big?

Everybody has stolen something at some point or another over the course of their lifetime.

Think about it: Perhaps at school, you've stolen someone else's answers or maybe their lunch. Perhaps at work, you've stolen someone's ideas, stolen the credit, or even stolen office supplies.

Perhaps at the grocery store, you've stolen grapes that you ate, or a pop you were drinking that you forgot about. Perhaps as a teen, you stole a CD or DVD (although it could have been a cassette tape or 8-track or a VHS or Beta tape - depending on when you were a teen).

Perhaps you stole on a dare, or out of anger at a your boss, or without even knowing. Perhaps you did it to be cool, or because you had no money, or because you wanted to see if you'd get caught.

No matter what the scenario, I'm sure we've all done it - with or without realizing it - at some point in our lives.

But to steal from the Church? To take money FROM GOD? Now that's just ballsy and stupid. Apparently, THIS GUY and his friend worked together to defraud the Catholic diocese of more than $750,000. WOW.



Of course, everyone is guilty until proven innocent. But I ask you - does this look like the face of an innocent man?

I Have A Stiffie

So for some reason, I wake up every freaking day with a stiff neck. I think it has something to do with my pillow. I keep going out and buying these contour pillows, each more expensive than the last, and after about a week, they stop working. I think the problem is my enormous head. Seriously, it weighs roughly 30 pounds, and it pulverizes and flattens the shit out of every pillow I have, to the point where it's like lying on a pancake.

Does anyone have a suggestion for a pillow that does not go flat? That helps with neck pain? That isn't $10,000? Because I would really appreciate some advice. My neck is friggin killing me. Hell, it's about to snap from the shear weight of my cranium as it is. And this pillow bullshit ain't making it any better.

HELP!