Deep Thoughts
So I was on the pot, deep in thought and other bodily functions, and I compiled a list of things that scare me. (Mel, "plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery," right?) Anyway, here's the list:
1) DEATH
2) TARANTULAS AND SNAKES (because they might bite me and therefore cause my death)
3) HEIGHTS (because I could hurl towards the ground and subsequently meet my death)
4) FLYING (because the plane could crash, and I could plummet to the earth, thereby causing death)
5) SMALL SPACES (because I could use up all of the air, stop breathing, and then be introduced to death)
6) LARGE CROWDS (because I could be trampled to death)
7) DROWNING (because I'm pretty sure this would bring about death)
8) DARKNESS (because someone could break into my house if I was at home or jump me if I was outside and then beat me, shoot me, strangle me, or kick me to death)
9) BEING COVERED IN RAW SEWAGE (because the sheer disgusting nature of this makes me want to choose death as an alternative)
10) THE CIRCUS
So, I'm not sure what all of these things have to do with each other, but those are my irrational fears. How about you?
posted by Lo Lo Lova @ 2:16 PM
23 Comments:
I'm afraid big, sweaty, shirtless portly men with garlic breath will try to kiss me. In high school, I dreamt Prince was trying to anally penetrate me. That was pretty scary.
Ubermilf, I wouldn't worry about Prince annaly penetrating you... since you're not a dude and that guy is "as queer as a $3 bill." Not that there is anything wrong with that!
Prince is so not gay (not that there is anything wrong with that). Didn't you see Purple Rain? Jeez, that guy is all hetero!
All 4'2" of him.
Except for his perm, his makeup, his girl clothes, and the fact that he love PURPLE.... Yeah, he just screams masculinity!
It will now be my mission to bed Prince. I will do whatever it takes to prove that he is 5 foot of all man. Dave - I apologize in advance, but I must prove this to Lo Lo and Ubermilf. HE DIGS CHICKS, NOT DICKS!
He doesn't just love purple... he loves purple sparkles. I don't think he's gay. I think gay is too normal for him.
Mel, I can't believe you think sleeping with Prince would be less disgusting than sleeping in your dog's puke. I'm sure it has less germs and smells better.
Well, Ubermilf, when you put it that way it makes ME want to puke. I take it back, I will not bed Prince. Don't want to get cooties!
The puke was promptly cleaned up along with the mess by the pool table, thank you very much.
Yes, Dave, but I had to HEAR about it, and finish washing the bed~
We transition a lot around here. Good news is we may get you up to 20 comments on this one! That would be a record, no?
I think I make 19.
I think the most I have may be 12. Pretty lame when you see some of Mr. Underhill's! Guess I have blog comment envy.
Don't have blog envy, Mel. A lot more people visit your site than mine. You and Ubermilf are my only friends! And Dave, too!!
Thanks Lo Lo, you always know just what to say!
(P.S. we are up to 16, make that 17 now!)
This is weird to have to scroll down so far! I've finally made it :)
Mel, you know you are loved way more than me. (Especially by creepy maintenance guy!) Don't sweat it!
I am so not loved more than you! You have way more readers than I do.
Why did you bring up stalker maintenance guy? Now I feel all violated and scuzzy.
NO, you have more readers.
And stalker maintenance guy is no worse than than creepy copy repairman!
Copy repair guy is worse - his hair is all greezy and his clothes are from 1974....A-literally!
I don't think either of you REALLY wants the attention of Mr. Underhill's readers. Some of them are crotch gnomes.
Crotch gnomes and British pussywhores I can do without! By the way - in real life have either of you called anyone a British Pussywhore yet? I've come close, but haven't yet!
Not to anyone's face!
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