Friday, October 06, 2006

I Was Almost Killed This Morning

By someone who looked like this guy:



At 6:30am this morning, he blew through a red light, of which he was completely unaware, and nearly plowed right into me on the driver's side. Most likely he was on his way home from lunch. You know - Early Bird Special...

Attention old guy who nearly killed me: You owe me a new cup of coffee, money for dry-cleaning, a new car seat, and a new pair of underwear.

A note to the elderly in general: PLEASE STAY OFF OF THE ROADS IN THE DARK.

A note to the DMV: PLEASE MAKE PEOPLE RETAKE THEIR DRIVING TEST AFTER AT LEAST AGE 70. PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!!!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Random Rant: THINGS I HATE

PEOPLE I HATE:



And also...
Pedophiles
People Who Abuse Children
Men Who Beat Women
Homophobes
Racists
Murder-Suicide Committers (chickenshit sons-a-bitches!!!!!!!!)
Mother-in-Laws Who Think You’re Never Good Enough for Their Child
People Who Try To Tell You How to Raise Your Children
People Who Put You Down (in attempt to make themselves feel better)
Rich People Who Are Cheap (be generous and charitable, ya douchebags!)
People Who Are Rude (it’s not hard to say “thanks” or “please” or “excuse me”!)
People Who Drive Exceedingly UNDER the Speed Limit
People Who Ask Stupid Questions at Meetings and Prolong Them Indefinitely
People Who Push Their Religion on You
People Who Live in Proverbial Glass Houses and Whilst Throwing Big Ass Stones

FOOD I HATE:

Fish (oh the smell!!)
Seafood (oh the smell!!)
Mushrooms
Olives
Coconut (allergy)
Walnuts (allergy)
Lima Beans
Wings
Any Meat With Bones
Turkey
Veal
Pork (except pork sausage)
Italian Sausage
Steak (too much gristle)
Indian Food
Lebanese Food
BBQ Sauce
Hot Sauce
Anything Spicy

TV SHOWS I HATE:

P.T.I. (I can’t decide which guy I hate more…)
Mama’s Family (suddenly they are showing reruns)
Becker
Still Standing
The War at Home (this is a very offensive show!)
Judge Anybody (I hate all of those damn judge shows!)
Rachael Ray (pick any one of her 75 programs – I hate them ALL!)
Oprah (I’m sorry, but that woman thinks waaaaay too much of herself)
Maury
Jerry Springer
It’s A Big, Big World (kids’ show/that freaky thing sounds like he’s high as a mo-fo)

And...
Infomercials