Rite Aide, Part Deux

Well, I did it. I walked over to Rite Aid on my lunch break. My son had a diaper rash and I called the doctor today and was given a laundry list of things to pick up. I decided to get all of it and return the lipsticks while I was there.

I managed to find 3 of the 4 things I needed. The last product was no where to be found - I scoured the baby section and the medicine section twice. The pediatrician's office said it was over-the-counter stuff, so I thought I'd head to the pharmacy to see if they could point me in the right direction.

I get over there and wait for the woman behind the counter to finish reading her magazine. I get a "help you?" I asked her if she knew where the LOTRAMIN was. I told her I looked all over for it (baby aisle, med aisle, etc). She asked me how to spell it. I told her I wasn't exactly sure, I just had it written down phonetically.

So mid conversation, this big dude walks over and stands right next to me and, after pulling down his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose, says, "How you doin?" RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SENTENCE. I just looked up and smiled and said "fine, thanks" and continued on with my conversation.

In hindsight, I'm pretty sure it was Heavy-D. I should have asked for his autograph! Damnit!

Anyway, the woman comes out from behind the counter and proceeds to lead me on a wild goose chase. Mind you, she has a gimp leg, so it was a slow chase, but a chase nonetheless. I wanted to say, "Walk this way" ala I-Gor from "Young Frankenstein." But I behaved.

So we get to the lotion aisle and she picks up a bottle of LUBRIDERM and hands it to me. I told her that I didn't need hand lotion, I needed something for diaper rash. She tried handing it to me again, so I showed her the paper. "No, LOTRIMEN. For diaper rash." I get an "Oh."

So we saunter on over to the baby aisle. "I don't see it," she says. She's looking up and down the aisle, and I'm following her like a jackass. Then, she says, "excuse me." I thought I was in her way. I moved back. She proceeded to walk down the aisle and disappear. Do I follow her? Are we looking down another aisle? Is she coming back? I'm so lonely...

After a few minutes, I realize she's not coming back. So... I head back to the pharmacy. I'm waiting in line to be helped, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Gimpy heading back to the pharmacy. Oh crap! I'm praying that one of the other 10 people back there ask to help me before Gimpy gets back. Just in the nick of time, an actual pharmasist asks if she can assist me. In two seconds she tells me it's in the first aid aisle - Aisle 9 - on the right. Sure enough, there it was. Turns out it's for jock itch. Weird. But it's definitely the right product. Finally, I head up to check-out.

Once again, I could not get out of that place fast enough. I high-tailed it back here to my desk, where Mel awaited to hear the drama. Because she knows that wherever I, drama finds me.

I would like to give you all my solemn vow that I won't set foot in that place again... unless there is an absolute emergency. And even then, I might have to weigh my options!