What has 8 legs, a furry body, and fangs?
....This ENORMOUS tarantula-like spider that was in my bathroom last night. This this was so big, it's body was about the size of a half-dollar. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING!
Okay, so I went into the bathroom last night to brush my teeth, and something caught my eye in the mirror. This frickin thing was on the wall behind me.
The baby was sleeping and so was my husband. It took everything I had not to scream my head off. I dropped the toothbrush and toothpaste and hauled ass outta there. I had to wake up hubby and have him kill the tarantula. I do not kill big bugs. Little ones, yes. But not tarantulas.
Hubby grabs a kleenex and I told him he might want something a little stronger. So he grabbed two. I was thinking a gun would work better, but we don't have one in the house...
My husband went in and shut the door. He took care of business. I don't know what he eventually killed it with, but I did hear a flush. Maybe a paper towel? I don't think 2 kleenex would have done the job. Regardless, I'm sure that sucker didn't die without a fight.
Afterwards, I was in bed and the sheet touched my hand and I jumped about a foot. Hubby started yelling at me, "you're freaking me out!" I couldn't help it. I totallly had the shivers and could not fall asleep, thinking Tarry Tarantula came with friends or layed eggs or something.
Needless to say, it was a rough night and LoLo did not get a lot of sleep. I am TERRIFIED of spiders - giant spiders - that can bite. They are so gross. I'm also freaked out about wasps/bees/hornets and snakes. Basically, anything that can bite and/or sting which could potentially kill me or someone in my family.
My uncle was once bitten by a brown recluse spider and almost lost a body part. And I'm so allergic to everything, I'm sure one bite would be the end for me.
Anywho, this morning I'm in the car driving to work and I thought I saw a spider. I freaked out so bad that I spilled my coffee all over my cream blouse. In other words, I'm a little jittery and I'm not having such a good day. I called hubby and made him promise to call Terminex today and have them make a STAT trip to the house.
Man, I never thought I would hate living by the lake. But they sure do grow some big ass mothers out there!! [insert whole-body shiver here]
posted by Lo Lo Lova @ 5:16 AM
19 Comments:
I too hate spiders. I was washing windows last week and some huge ass mean looking bitch of a spider had taken up residence in our bedroom window. The web was as big as a small city. I screamed and ran and made Dave come and kill it.
Sunday at softball some huge bee thing buzzed me and I screamed and yelled "sonofabitch mother nature SHIT!" Everyone nearly peed their pants laughing. I was NOT laughing. I hate bugs. Hate hate hate.
There was a spider in my bathroom last night, too. I made Dilf kill it because it looked like it would "crunch" when smooshed and I HATE that.
LoLo, did you read about the earwigs who tried to kill me?
Me, too. I do not understand why we need bugs. Or reptiles. Or any creepy crawly things. They are nasty. GROSS.
Ubi: I did not read about them. Is it on your blog?
Hold on. I will provide you with the proper link.
Here
Ubi, now I'm itching. Thanks
wow, mel, dad killed a spider? did he have to bust out the vacuum cleaner (his usual bug killing weapon of choice)?
We were JUST discussing the whole vacuum cleaner death machine. How do they not climb out of there, more pissed off than ever?
Of course he busted out his implement of destruction a.k.a. the vacuum cleaner!
I'm new here, and already I feel welcome. Arachnophobia!
I caught one in my house once that was so big I put it in tupperware and showed the landlord.
They came out and sprayed the next morning.
Ick.
It took me a while to read this post because I'm such a chicken shit pansy when it comes to the evil eight legged freaks.
When we had just moved into our house last September we had ordered a new sofa which didn't arrive until two weeks later so we lay on big cushions on the floor watching TV. One evening I rolled sideways to reach for my wineglass and came face to face with a wolf spider the size of the facehugger from Alien. I screamed like Janet Leigh but managed to get it out the back door. I was defending my territory like a good caveman would.
The next night, I opened the back door and there it was again, trying to get in! I later found out it was the mating season so I had a horny spider trying to get into my house!! I was terrified for weeks it had a nest somewhere in the house which was going to spew forth hundreds of little monsters to consume me in my sleep.
I've given myself the utter willies just typing this and will probably not sleep tonight, and will check every mouthful of dinner before putting it in my mouth for a week.
Kris: Welcome to my blog. I'm glad you already feel comfy here!
You are very brave for capturing your creepy crawly. I don't think I could ever do that!
Funny you mention Arachnophobia - I remember watching that movie at my parents' house when I was still living there. Just after, I went down to the basement to do laundry or something, and there was a huge bug on the steps. I screamed for about an hour. My mom just laughed at me. My dad bravely slain the beast!
Captain: You made me laugh out loud! Luckily, it's very early here and no one is around yet. I'm the only sucker who gets in at this hour of the morning.
I totally feel your pain. I am really glad that men are freaked out by spiders, too.
One time, my husband was in the 1/2 bath downstairs doing his business. He said he saw one so big he actually bounded off the toilet and sprinted out of there so fast - ala George Costanza in the "Vandalay Industries" episode! :)
Horny spiders? Now I have to worry about them having their way with me BEFORE eating me alive. Thanks, that will make for some great nightmares...
now i'm itching here at work... thanks a lot.... I once had a spider outbreak in my car. I was on the way out, and 15 of them crawled out of every angle. Needless to say I went home that night and parked the car. The next day I walked to Wal-Mart and bought Bug Bombs. It worked great. But last night I noticed a tiny web on the windshield. I think it's going to be another bomb weekend!
LW: Sorry to make you itch.
Of course, now I'm afraid of my car!
A few weeks ago, hubby left the windows down in his car in the garage. I had to drive it to work the next day. When I pulled up to the drive thru at McDonalds, I noticed that there was a spider and a web INSIDE the car. I freaked. I picked up my water bottle and tried to push it out of the car. I was screaming, dropped the water bottle out the window, and somehow managed to fling the spider inside the car, on the passenger seat. Then I had to figure out how to kill it. I had to reach across the seat where it was to grab a napkin out of the glove compartment. I finally managed to kill it. I'm sure all the ladies who work at Mickey D's think I'm crazy, as this all happened BEFORE I ordered my coffe....
that is phenomenal! I hate spiders!
:) ME TOO!!! They are totally unnecessary. And they make me look crazy!
lolo, my uncle was bit by a brown recluse while working under a house. he almost lost his leg. i feel your pain about spiders and snakes. i was bit by a snake at the tender age of 4 and it has scarred me.
(btw, you should always check your luggage before coming home from a trip to make sure the little bastards dont come home with you. my mom and i were leaving from my dads in missouri and we found a brown recluse in the car as we were packing. imagine if t wouldve come out while we were driving??
My uncle's body part was in the nether-region as well, but not his leg.
Thanks for the tip! Also, don't EVER EVER EVER put your purse on the floor in a restroom or restaurant. One time, my mom's friend had a cockroach climb into her purse, which was on the floor at the mall food court.
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