"Outta my way, Jerk-Ass!"

So this morning I'm in my car in the parking lot waiting for the "courtesy" shuttle. I pulled into the lot at 6:59am. I waited for 15 fricking minutes, and the effer never showed. So I started hoofing it. Of course, I am not wearing my running shoes (not that I own running shoes or even run... but that's beside the point). Of course, I'm wearing a new pair of heels (and ladies, they are cute!). So now I have to high-tailing it a mile to get to work on time. Blisters begin forming on the soles of my feet. But I can't slow down. Gotta get to the time clock before 7:30!! So I'm trying to haul ass, but all of these people are in my way. Walking so slow that they are, in fact, going backwards in time! What I want to do is knock them all over. But I don't. I try to get around them, but they are walking 4 across and won't budge. I go to the left. FAKE OUT! I go to the right. Snoped again. I finally get around them and get to the time clock. And now, thanks to the bus, I am late for work. I got here 31 minutes early, but now I'm late. And I'm sweaty from running to get in here. And my feet are killing me because of these huge-ass blisters. So thanks a lot, "courtesy" shuttle. I find you neither courteous nor helpful. You ruined my life! Okay, maybe I'm being a little overdramatic. Courtesy shuttle, you ruined the best years of my life!! There. Much better.