The Latest in the Shuttle Bus Driver Saga...

They hired a new bus driver. Tested him out for the first time today. I've dubbed him "Sudden-Stop Sammy." This is because the dude SLAMS on his breaks whenever the urge hits him. I think it's some sort of obsessive-compulsive disorder. We're driving along and just randomly - BLAMO! Everyone on the bus collectively lunged forward and then jolted back into their seats. My Mickey D's coffee went flying out of the cup. It's always fun to have steaming hot liquid pour all over your hand...

But the best part of my morning commute was the dude sitting across from me on the bus who kept checking out his "guns." He would lift up his sleeve, flex, and then rub each gun. I didn't know if it was intended to impress me or if he giving himself some foreplay. Either way, it was an uncomfortable situation. And since my seat was facing his, I really had nowhere else to look. I tried looking past him, but I couldn't help but be drawn back in to his masterbatory actions.

All in all, it was, as always, a very interesting way to start the morning. But this whole experience really makes me want to invest in one of those scooters that George Costanza had....