Home Depot, You Evil Bastard!

For all those home owners out there, I'm sure you are very familiar with Home Depot, those evil bastards.

Well, over the weekend, my husband and I had to hang up some blinds. We get horrible sun glare in our front window, that interfers with tv viewing. This being our main past-time, something had to be done... and fast!

So we weighed the options and decided that vertical blinds were the least expensive way to go. Doug Wilson (of "Trading Spaces" and "Moving Up" fame) would be appauled to know that we did this. But I really don't give a shit.

Our window is 95 inches wide and 57 inches long. After much debate, my husband and I decided that we should have the blinds be 56 1/2" long so that they don't scrape on the window sill when we open/close them.

So John goes off to Home Depot. He also bought a Big Max, Jr. storage shed. "30 minutes to assemble" my @SS!! But I digress.

We go to hang up the blinds on Saturday night. I know, we're party ANIMALS! Me being the handy one, I pull out the drill and as soon as I get one rotation on the first screw, the effing thing dies. Trying to hand screw four nails into drywall is not easy. It's not fun. It sucks.

We finally get everything all assembled. We click the hanging apparatus into place. We wait 10 mins. It does not fall down, so we're feeling pretty confident.

Now comes the "easy" part. Attaching each vertical blind. I put the first one up, not really paying attention. After hanging the third one, I look down to see how close the blind comes to the window sill. Imagine my surprise when I see the enormous gap between the end of each blind and the sill. How much of a gap, you ask? FOUR INCHES

So I mention this to my husband. We measure the blind and confirm that it is, in fact, 4 inches short. John insists that he gave the proper measurment to the woman working at the Depot.
Then he says, "Well, we're putting the couch in front of it, so it doesn't really matter."

Yeah, and when the neighbors drive by and see our short blinds, I'm sure they won't mind the value of their houses going down... down... down thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Whitetrash next door.

I make him take back the blinds the next day to Home Depot. Of course, the woman insists that she measured them correctly. She says that they take into account the size of the hanging apparatus, and automatically deduct several inches. WTF?

My husband gets new blinds and then has to rent a Home Depot truck to bring home the Big Max, Jr. He purchased it the day before and hauled it to our new mini van (which we bought not only because of baby Jackson, but because we were tired of always borrowing my parents' SUV to lug home big purchases). Of course, the effing thing was too big for the van....

So, now we have to pay them $20 to drive their van less than 6 miles so that we can get this damn thing home. But, it does have leather seats, so it was worth the money. Yeah, right.

Anyway, we get the blinds hung up. Finally. Then we head outside to put together the BMJ. Yeah, that's lots of fun. Don't you just love the directions that have been translated from Japanese to Chines to Spanish to Arabic to French and then to English?? Somehow, and I'm not sure how, things get lost in the translation. We had to call my father over anyway to help out. And with 3 adults working on it, it took almost 3 hours. 3 HOURS OF MY LIFE I CAN NEVER GET BACK.

What person can do that in 30 minutes? Maybe the guy who wrote the instructions. Or perhaps the guy who wrote the instructions. Oh, I know, the guy that wrote the instructions might be able to...... ARGH!!!