Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Best Show on Summer TV


So there is this new show on VH1 called "Rock of Love" with Brett Michaels, formerly of Poison. (or currently of Poison? I don't know). Anyway, it's a "Bachelor" rip-off of sorts, along the lines of "Flavor of Love" with Flava-Flave!
My man Brett has this house full of 21 skanks. I mean, we're talking strippers, exotic dancers, prositutes, and your basic hors. There are actually 2 hoes named Brandi - with an "I," a Krista, a Tawney, a Tiffany, and a Lacey, just to name a few. Each one is nastier than the next. Bleach-blonde, fake-and-baked, breast-implanted, venerial-disease-carrying, tattoed ho-bags.
So, at the end of the show, Brett has "back stage passes" to hand out to the girls he wants to take to the next round. He hands them the pass and asks the greatest, most romantic question a man could ever ask a woman: "Will you rock my world?"
Brett admittedly is looking for a skank who will let him phuck around, who will party with him and/or let him party with other hoes, and who won't tie him down. I really have no idea why he even has this show, but my guess is he will tap every ass on that set. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
One skank actually dry-humped the Brettster while he was trying to have a "meaningful" conversation with each pair of girls desperately wanting to get to know him better. (Yeah, cuz they're in it to find their true love, too.) One of the Brandis has this high-pitched whiney voice and she was all mad because Tiffany was dry-humping him when it was his time to talk to her and her BFF. So in order to get his attention, she borrowed someone else's bathing suit that was too small, and her boobs fell out. (I actually wanted to beat her to death with her implants because she was quite possibly the most annoying person I have ever seen in my life). So what I'm saying is that we're talking Emmy-nominated telivision, people!
Anywho, I think it airs Tuesdays at 9 on VH1. YOU MUST MUST MUST CHECK IT OUT. It is a phucking train wreck, and it is worth every delightful minute!! Enjoy :)

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Weight Just a Minute...

So admittedly, I’m not thin. I’ve never pretended to be. But recently, I’ve had some very harsh comments made – to my face – about my weight problem. Insensitive people never cease to amaze me.

For instance, once a woman at work asked me where I get my clothes because she thought I dressed very nicely. I told her I like Kohl’s and before I could finish my sentence, she interjected with “Really? You can find things in your size there?” Ouch!

hen, a few weeks ago we were getting tickets to a work-related function that included a free t-shirt. They were also selling extra tees that you could purchase for your spouses or whatnot. I was standing at the table holding up a 2X for my hubby. A woman comes over, sees me holding up the tee in front of me and says, “You know, we sell 3X too.” WOW!!

A couple days later, I was talking to another coworker who went to get a greasy burger for lunch. She said she was having a bad day and that it was helping her. I said, “As you can see from my figure--” And she interjected with: “You’ve had a lot of bad days?” Zowie!!!

Anyway, my husband suggested that we have t-shirts made with the slogan “Another bad day” – I'll take mine in size 3X please. But I was thinking, maybe this banner, stretched out over my ass, would be less subtle and more to-the-point??!!