Kevin Federline is a Freaking Genius!
So yesterday I'm flipping around on the tube and I catch the tail-end of the finale of the "reality show" (and I use the term loosely) called "Chaotic." For those of you who don't know, it's about Britney Spears and her nobody husband, Keven Federline.
Watching this show, I realized that my IQ was rapidly dropping with each passing moment. But I digress...
I did discover something, though. Not that they both useless pieces of white trash - this is a given. Not that they are total morons - again, given! No, what I realized is that Kevin Federline is a freaking genius! This guy is completely worthless. He is a loser who finds rich, successful women, knocks them up, and then lives off of their money.
Sidebar: He also looks like he smells: Chain smoker, scraggly dirty hair, greasy face. YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!
So at the end of this "show," Kevin looks into the camera and tells Brit how he compiled a little slide show about her and it shows how great she is. Then, the dude gets all choked up - has to stop talking because it appears that he is going to cry. Then he goes on and on about - Baby, you're my everything. I love you so much, blah blah blah.
Well, you know what, she IS his everything. Before he met her, Dude couldn't even make his car payments! His freaking car got repo-ed. He was a back-up dancer. A nobody. And yet he got two girls to fight over him. And one was several months pregnant. And then he managed to convince Brit to marry him and subsequently knocked her up, too.
Wonder how many diseases everyone has now? Including the new baby....
Anyway, this guy is a talentless, broke-ass hillbilly who convinced this multi-millionaire to marry him and have his 3rd baby (that we know of). Now he's unemployed, living the life of luxury, driving sweet cars, and faking an occassional cry so that Brit thinks he's in love with her.
Well, guess what Britney Spears? He left his other woman when she was preggers for someone richer. What makes you think he won't leave your ass when someone better, hotter, and richer comes along?
Anyone interested in starting a pool? When will he leave her? My guess is that he'll stick around until just after the baby is born. Then when she stops paying him attention - and stops paying his salary - he'll move on to the next dumb young thang. Who will he leave her for? Lindsay Lohan? One of the Olsen twins? Ashlee Simpson? I'm thinking Lindsay. She's another hot mess. But, this is just my opinion. What do YOU think?
posted by Lo Lo Lova @ 6:23 AM
20 Comments:
Kevin, you are an inspiration to gold diggers everywhere. And a personal hero to men everywhere for bagging Brit. Ofcourse now she's tainted forever more because of your grossness.
Nick, spoken like a true Trojan Warrior!
Perhaps he will go from celebrity to celebrity, knocking them up and leaving them bloated, jobless and broke.
I vote for Ashley Simpson. Her ego took a hit after that SNL lip-syching fiasco. She might be desperate enough.
Then, he'll work his way through both Oleson twins.
Finally, years from now, Dakota Fanning will be his final conquest. She will kill him in his sleep, but put a lit cigarette in his hand and burn down the house so it looks like an accident.
The next generation of Hollywood babies will all be half-brothers & half-sisters. Pretty soon it will be like the Royal Family, in the sense that they have dropped a few chromosomes through time.
"Well, this just didn't work out. 'Tis a pity, inbreeding seemed like such a good idea at the time. Go fetch Reginald and his two headed daughter."
Dakota Fanning, though young, scares the crap out of me.
Ubi, good call. I'm pretty sure he will work his way through everyone - including young Ms. Fanning.
Nick, another good call. I was thinking about how gross and slimy the guy is - that he might even do something with his own daughter, but I didn't want to go there. So thanks for taking that leap!
I'm not shy. (...on the internet. In real life I'm a wallflower)
Nothing? Nothing on that awesome Toxic reference. Fine. Whatever. I'm going somewhere where people appreciate me! Hmpf!
Don't go!
We get it. Toxic. Like the song. Clever. Very clever.
I thought it was dumb. That's why I didn't say anything.
Nick, you slay me!
I work with what God gave me.
I know it ain't much, Nick. But you make it work!
I didn't know toxic was a song. Whose song is it? Nick, quit being rude to my friends. Go to your room!
What?! Lo Lo thought it was funny! Aw, man, how come I always get in trouble.
Eff you Nick. It was clever, not dumb.
CLEVER!
Ubi: "Toxic" is a really bad song by Britney Spears that Melanie listens to several times a day.
Nick: Ubi is right. Stop picking on Mel.
Mel: You know I love you, but I hate that freaking song :) Oh, and yes, you ARE clever!
So it's ok for you guys to placate her but I can't be honest? I thought women admired honest men, or is that only when the honesty in question isn't truthful?
You know what, nevermind.
It was a very clever joke, Mel. Also the song is quite catchy. (the video too!)
You can be honest. But so can we. So suck it up, Nick. Us girls stick together. Pick on one of us, pick on us all!
Hey, sorry to start all that. Now that I'm sober, it wasn't really that clever or funny. Sometimes my sense of what is amusing is completely different than everyone else's. My bad!
Post a Comment
<< Home