Pet Peeves and other Perturbances
So I'm on the courtesy shuttle bus this morning (as my loyal readers know, this is a major perturbance!) and I see that The Over-Reactor has really, really long fingernails. Now I don't know what it is about men and long fingernails that makes me gag, but I really get grossed out by it. Unless you are going through a sex change operation or you are an outted Drag Queen, CUT YOUR DAMN FINGERNAILS! It's just gross. Men should not have fingernails longer than women. Period.
Similarly, I am disgusted by really long toenails - on anyone. Hint: If they are long enough to click on the floor, they are too long.
Another pet peeve of mine is teenage boys who call me Ma'am (I'm only 32, damnit!) or older men (strangers) who call me Honey, Baby, or Sweetie. Makes my skin crawl. Unless they're like 85 and are sincerely using it as a term of endearment.
My biggest pet peeves are hair-related. I hate mullets, big hair (mushroom cloud bangs), permed mullets, feathered mullets, and mustaches. Unless you are Tom Selleck, you look like a gay porn star. So cut it off. Or grow it into a goattee or beard. Although I'm not a huge fan of beards, I'll take a beard over a mustache any day.
Well, there are many, many more peeves of mine, but I will stop here. I would like to invite you all to add your peeves, too. I know one of my friends in college hated it when men carried combs in their back pockets. Not a favorite thing of mine, either. But she was really, really, really bothered by it.
So, I showed you mine.... now you show me yours!
posted by Lo Lo Lova @ 5:00 AM
28 Comments:
Sorry Ma'am, I couldn't hear you over the clicking of my toenails on the floor. Off to style my mullet! Just need to grab my comb out of my back pocket. Cheers!
Melanie, you are so freaking funny I can't even stand it!
this
Karl Rove. Shall I continue?
Ah yes, Beavis and Butthead.
I hate it when shirtless men are either are too skinny or too heavy to be shirtless. Actually, in general, I'm not a fan of shirtless guys. Unless I'm having the fantasy where a shirtless Marky Mark is washing my mini-van... YUM
OoooUbermilf! A definite candidate for the back sack and crack, that last one!!
Pete peeves include really tight fisted BMW drivers who spend all that money on a flash new motor but who are apparently to tight to replace the indicator bulbs, which seem to blow as soon as the car leaves the showroom.
Ubermilf, I love the backhair photo. THAT IS HOT!
Cap'n, you don't seem to like BMWs or their drivers, eh?
Roxi, mullets made a slight comeback when Halle Berry sported one a few months back. But I'd say you should definitely have your boyfriend updated. A nice shag would suffice
I think "a nice shag" means something different to Captain Beefheart than it does here in the states.
Oh BEHAVE!
I find this annoying
and this
Oh I hate those things. And Precious Moments, too. YUCK! And people may think me un-American, but I hate Winnie the Pooh. I think he is a middle-aged fussy old queen who really gets on my last nerve! I'm sorry. I cannot control how I feel.
Ubermilf, you read my mind. I was literally typing "and precious moments" when your photo popped up. Great minds, my friend... great minds!
This
combines several annoying things: A mullet, inexplicable formed from African-American hair; a man wearing suspenders with a sleeveless shirt and pleated pants; bad sappy music
When I read your description, I actually pictured David Lee Roth. But this photo was much, much better. Like Lionel Ritchie on steroids.
Eeyore has that sexy, brooding quality not unlike Johnny Depp. I dig them both! I feel really weird now that I have confessed my crush on a cartoon character!
The real Whinnie the Pooh is English, so you're not being un-American. Unless of course you are referring to the gut churningly awful piece of kak that is Disney's attempt. That is nasty. Tigger is an irritating ADD sufferer with a speach impediment who should be drowned in a sack - IMHO.
Ubermilf, thank you for making me feel a little better about my whole Winnie-phobia.
Mel, I'm a little scared by your comment. Although my guess is Eeyore showers more than Johnny Depp...
Hello WBB. Thank you very much for the comments on Pooh & the gang. Am I to assume that there is a real "Pooh" bear named Winnie out there at a zoo or something? Or do you mean the character in the book? Either way, your comments about Tigger are dead-on. Bravo - he bugs me, too!
Ta Ta For Now
Baby, you need to relax.
Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you Nick???!!!
I effing HATE HATE HATE the "Love is..." cartoons, they skeeve me out no end. See further explination of my intense hatred here. I also hate guys in polo shirts with the collar flipped up, fauxhawks, stupid girls who can't hold their alcohol and either throw up all over or pass out in bar restrooms, people who dress up their pets, and Starr Jones.
So much hate, so little time...
Miss Lis:
I have to agree with you on all counts, especially Starr Jones-Reynolds. That annoying beyotch will do anything to get freebies. Like she can't afford to buy it on her own! And, even though I give her props for losing all that weight, could she PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop wearing spandex?? Good Lord!
Um, Lo Lo - aren't you guilty of one of Miss. Lis' pet peaves? Alaskan Skull F*&k night?
Um, Mel, in my defense, I did not throw up all over. Only in my bed. And, although I passed out briefly on the toilet, my friend got me up and out of there. And, it was 10 years ago. Also, it was only ONE time because I accepted a dare and did 4 monsterous shots after downing a few tall beers. That was the ONLY time I ever passed out in a bar. Miss Lis, if you were there, I'm sorry. But aren't we all allowed one mistake? Oh, and Mel, aren't you guilty of one of these, seeing as how you ARE Starr Jones!
I am so NOT Starr Jones. I will kick you in the throat if you don't take that back.
Sorry, Star. Didn't mean to blow your cover. But we all know you can't kick that high.
Not in Spandex, anyway. Or those Payless high heeled pumps.
Thanks for the image, Ubi. Now I'll be picturing Starr Jones in spandex and heels, doing high karate chops. Oooh, I just got the shivers!
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