I Think I Broke My Ass

So yesterday I was going down the stairs from the kitchen to the basement. I guess my socks were slippery, because I put my right foot down on the first step to begin my descent down the stairs, and the next thing I know, I had bypassed all 7 steps and landed square on my ass.

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of padding on my big fat ass, but let me tell you this: IT HURT LIKE HELL. My poor little Boo Boo was freaking out saying, “Mommy, are you okay? Mommy, get up!” All I wanted to do was yell “PHUCK” over and over and over again, but I couldn’t. I also wanted to cry, but couldn’t do that either, for fear of scaring the crap out of my son.

Today my ass still hurts. Every time I sit down, it hurts. Ever time I get up from sitting down, it hurts. Every time I bend over, it hurts. Every time I walk, it hurts. But the good news is that my back – which I hurt shoveling the snow last week – finally feels better.

YEP, IT SUCKS GETTING OLD.