Friday Rant
More things that piss me off:
People who wear flood pants. I mean, how do you not notice your pants are 4 inches off the ground? Do you try them on with no shoes on and peer forward and look down at your toes? STAND UP STRAIGHT. PUT YOU SHOES ON. LOOK IN A MIRROR. Is the bottom of your pant above your ankle? It is? Well you’re wearin floods and you look like a douche. Take em off!
People who are dealing with obvious mental illness (have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist with a certain disorder) and refuse to take meds for longer than half of one dose because of the side effects. I am not disputing that there are side effects, but sleepiness, feeling like you’re “under water” and/or having a bad dream is not a valid reason for stopping. Also, don’t say you “tried” it when you didn’t even take more than one pill. A real try constitutes at least a few days. Oh, and by the way, the consequences of being a crazy bitch are a lot worse than feeling tired. And you know what, you don’t even have a job, so you have all the time in the world to take an extra-long (longer than usual) nap. For those of you who know me, you know exactly who I’m talking about. Oh, and wash your hair.
When you ask someone for their phone number and the first number they give you is 1.
Like you’re such a friggin idiot that you don’t know to dial a phucking 1 to make a long distance call. Hey asshole, I live in the same state and the same country as you. I’m well aware that I have to dial a 1 if your area code differs from mine.
I saw a huge sign in front of a large office building that read: “Suite’s Available” What friggin moron made this sign? Just because you put an S on the end of something, it does not automatically mean you must put an apostrophe. God. Did you take 6th grade English? Seriously!
When I love a song but the radio stations play it every 15 minutes and after about 2 weeks, I totally despise said-song. Right now my favorite song is “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder. And if you ask me in two weeks, I can just about guarantee I’ll hate the shit out of it.
I hate people who drive 45 on the freeway. WHAT THE PHUCK ARE YOU DOING ON THE FREEWAY???? First of all, you’re a hundred and you shouldn’t even be driving. Secondly, you should be at home watching the news or something and not in the middle of rush hour traffic at 6:30am. I mean, I know it’s almost time for the early bird dinner special and all, but you really need to stay off the roads.
This poor kid who was kidnapped and held prisoner for 4 years finally comes home, and now his family is EXPLOITING him by taking him on various tv shows and having him “tell his story” which he doesn’t even want to talk about. Why don’t get reacquainted with your son first and get him to a psychiatrist so he can get help and get healed?!?! Tod in the movie “Parenthood” said it best: “You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”
That's all for now. More later - without a doubt!
TGIF
posted by Lo Lo Lova @ 6:27 AM
7 Comments:
Hysterical and everything on your list is right on; especially the first one. There's an asshat in my office who's pants are a good 3 inches too high and every phucking pair he owns is the same. He makes more money than God yet we have to see his nasty pilly socks even when he's standing up?!?! When he sits down you can practically see thigh. Jesus Christ, just wear shorts dude and get it over with.
Preach on! While 45 (or anything slow in the left lane) is probably my biggest irritant, this list hits all the big ones.
Mel, Nick - Nice use of the ass-words. Asstards, Asshat. NICE!
Sgt - I'll be back on my soapbox later :)
Look, I'm sorry I'm off my meds. And I know I didn't wash my hair, but good God I waxed my mustache! Isn't that good enough for you?
There's just no pleasing some people. I'm going to go wash up now. I'll leave my towel on the floor for later.
You forgot to put quotes around "wash up" Ubster.
Are you feeling sleepy? Because I slipped your meds into your morning cocktail.
awesome. that song by hinder is atrocious. How can you as a girl like that song, have you listened to the words?
To make matters worse, some no talent ass clown (Jack Ingraham)has made a country version of "Lips of an Angel" which is also played every five minutes...just in case you weren't getting enough of it on the rock/pop/easy listening stations.
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